


The Mind Luminary

by ToughAqua777



Category: Dragon Quest Series, Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Angst, Confusion, Descent into Madness, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Hero | Luminary is Named Eleven | El (Dragon Quest XI), Insanity, Inspired by Music, Mental Anguish, Mental Instability, Mind Rape, Nightmares, One Shot, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Surreal, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 09:08:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21268547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToughAqua777/pseuds/ToughAqua777
Summary: "Think of these thoughts as limitless lį̶̠̤̤͖̭̎͊̃̅͑̌͘͡͡ͅg̶̡͚̹̗̥͓̤͍͆͆̃͆̊͜h̡̨͚̰͍̱̭̼̋̈̐̎͆̅͘͢ͅẗ̸̤̖͓̙͗͊͗̈́̒͢͢, exposing closing circuitry of f͖̳͓͕̜̳͚͕̔͂̉͆̀͘͜͢͝͡r̢͇̪͕̼̥͉̀̿̑̾̋̕͟͝i̴̡̺̦͉̩͚̐̀̑́͂̃̔̐͋̚͟ğ͚̲̺̟͆͊͗̚͢h̷̖͎̳̹͈̫̗͜͡͝t̨̺͎̲̦̭̪̰̃͗͑͋̊͂̽͟͝. Think of each moment holding this breath, as death minute in ḑ̸̡̠̗̪̟͊̒̒̑͂͌͛͡ě̶̢̟̳̫͔̪̅͌͊͌͒͂c̵̛̙̲̱͖̣̣͕̦̃̋̽̈́̇͑͐̊͟ͅi̛̗̖̬̱̠̝͈̳̎̈́͐̂͊̽͒͠m̡̨̨̗̝͈̠͉͋̑̆͂̄͢͠͝ą̶͇̝̣̗͚͕̽̉̂̓̀̒̐̃̚͝l̴̤͚̫̜̠̬͇̟̝̅̇͌̿̂͐--"





	The Mind Luminary

**Author's Note:**

> Y'know, I should probably finish my WIPs instead of doing this, but oh well.  
Anyways, have fun reading about how our Luminary losing his fucking mind.

"Resident D͓̼͔͓̥͈̱͈̒͌̾̇͐̽̈̈͘͜͟͡a̵̡͔̙̼͓̖͒́͑̐̄͘r̡̨̡̥̝̺̝͆̓̌̚͝͠k̶͚̭͓̺͉͓̜͚̗̀̇͐̓̌̎͝ͅs̸̛̤̺̦̼͕͇̘͔̳̬̍͐̄̄̕p̢̨͖̳̬̮̯͍̗̳̐̾͊̂́á̵̖̗̖͙̱̹̙͐͊̓̈́͟ͅw̛̟̜͙̤̻̦͖̹͙̳͛̍͐̽̐͗̌͆̃n̙̩̺̭̖̲̖̳̳̭̄̓̏̀̍ how do you plead?"

That was the first thing Eleven heard when he opened his eyes.

He was standing in King Carnelian's throne room, standing before the King once more, Hendrik and Jasper at his side with knights guarding the path. Why was he back here? When did he get here?

"We need your testimony." _Testimony?_

The King continued, with a strangely blank expression that everyone else shared, "Swear to tell the whole truth. Now, raise your right hand."

El had...more than a few questions. Why wasn't anyone trying to kill him right now? Why was he here? When did he get here? What was going on?

Yet, he couldn't ask any of them; his hand had been raised as if he were making a pledge, though he didn't remember doing such.

A sentence formed in his head, a sentence to prove his innocence. He was no Darkspawn.

"Your Majesty," his voice rang out, a strange feeling behind his throat, "I swear I have a good heart, I--"

A pain similar to a stab consumed his brain, cutting off his voice suddenly. The pain only increased, yet he could not cry out. He could not speak. And yet...

His voice rang out once more, without him.

"My mind has consumed my sanity." _What?_

The pain, as soon as it arrived, vanished, causing El to stumble back, holding a hand to his head as he closed his eyes. He didn't say those words. He didn't even speak. Yet that was his voice...wasn't it?

When he opened his eyes once more, the King was pointing to the door, and the knights began to close in. Before El could fully register the event, however, he was grabbed by the arms and dragged away. El struggled against his restraints, but it only made the grip tighter.

The pain in his mind returned, pulling out a gasp from El as he shut his eyes. It hurts...it hurts..._it hurts!_

The pain halted at a certain point, still painful but not enough to scream about. But as soon as El was going to breathe a slight breath of relief, he was thrown to the ground, a jail cell surrounding him as two knights took hold of his arms. The sound of chains echoed as El felt a cold sting on his wrists, making him shiver from the sudden chill as he was placed in a sitting position.

The pain spiked again, for who-knows-why, and El shut his eyes once more.

And then the memories.

"Cobblestone, you say?"

...Right. He told the King about Cobblestone.

_Cobblestone_. The town that raised him. The town that cared for him. The town where his Mum lived, where Gemma lived, where everyone he loved lived.

And he remembered...

_How it's gone._

A smack to his face snapped him out of his thoughts, a hand harshly grabbing his chin and tilting his head upwards.

The King was here.

**"Here in my kingdom, I am your lord. I order you to cower and p̵̢̦̞͖͇̠̺̑̅̿̈̈́̆̽͆͢͜ř̷̘̱̠̦̪̾͗̾̚æ̡̻̱̩̦̬̐̀͆̀̾͂ÿ̸̯̗̘͕̘́̔̔͡."**

He blinked, and the King was gone, replaced by Jasper instead, standing in the cell while knights cheered outside of it. Why were they che--

A dark spell was charging in Jasper's hand.

Yet he didn't throw it down at El. He instead held it to where the chains attached to the wall, cackling as he did so.

A beat.

Then _pure **agony.**_

Eleven screamed as pain coursed through his body, purple-colored lightening consuming his chains before reaching downwards. He writhed in his bindings, eyes shutting tight as his backed arched away from the wall in some desperate attempt to free himself from the pain. The laughter of Jasper and the knights filled his ears, taking pleasure in watching his torture.

It hurts. It hurts so much. Everything hurts. His body, his mind, his soul, _everything!_

He wanted help, mercy, sympathy, _anything! Anything_ over this!

And then the voices. Voices and messages he did not recognize. Voices that filled his mind.

"It's all because you were born!"

"Your fault. _Your. Fault."_

"You deserve worse."

"Harbinger of evil!"

"Your existence destroyed Dundrasil."

"You should've never been born."

"They should've killed you when they had the chance."

_ **"...Kill yourself."** _

No! NO! That's not true! None of it's true! He did nothing wrong! Not now, not then! _Especially_ not then!

He was just a infant! A newborn! Doesn't anyone get that?!

Why?! What had he done?! What had he done to deserve this?! Why was this happening?! WHY?!

Stop it! _STOP IT!_

"STOP IT!!!"

And everything was gone.

The chains were gone, the pain was gone, the knights were gone, Jasper was gone, the dungeon was gone, the voices were gone, _everything was gone._ Now all around him was nothing but a pitch-black void.

Keeling over to his left side, Eleven gasped for breath as he lay on the floor he couldn't see, even when he opened his eyes. His hands went to grip his head tightly, the sudden feeling of painlessness somehow feeling painful. He didn't bother making sense of that phrase. His entire body was sore, trembling slightly at the feeling of, somehow, not feeling. Again, he didn't bother making sense of that.

The words of the disembodied voices still scratched at his mind, angry, hateful...suicidal. Shaking his head slightly in a weak attempt to rid of them, he started to slowly pull himself up, soon on his hands and knees as he tried to catch his breath.

...Wait. Why was his Mark glowing? Now of all times?

Taking a few more deep breaths, he slowly stood up, stumbling a bit as he did. If his Mark was glowing...right. That meant he was in trouble. But while everything around him was empty, he could at least see himself. But--

All he did was blink and he was surrounded.

By the people of Cobblestone.

He gasped at the sight, spinning around and blinking a few times to make sure he wasn't imagining things. They were here, they were here!

But...their faces are blank, dead, staring through him.

Laughter filled his head as the pain returned, his hands quickly moving to grab at his skull yet again.

Yet...that laughter sounded like...

...His own...?

**"Do you see how they fall?"**

And just like that, everyone crumbled. Their bodies fell dead, going pale, pooling blood from wounds he couldn't see.

He gasped, looking around again. More laughter. More pain. More despair.

**"They gave it all they had,"** the voice continued, **"As did you."**

His head felt heavy as he stumbled, his vision blurring as he turned around once more.

Wait, isn't that--?!

He didn't have time to register "his" appearance before he was pushed back.

And he fell. Fell into a hole that he either didn't see or wasn't there before.

**"But now...you're down."**

Laughter once more.

_His_ laughter.

Eleven didn't remember landing on his feet, but he must've if he felt a tap on his shoulder. His vision clearing, he turned again.

It was Eleven.

Eleven was wearing the clothes he wore back in Cobblestone, cleaner than usual, but Eleven's face was dead, expressionless, the once shining blue eyes seemingly shadowed by an emptiness that was never there.

"...Do you see how your mind plays around?"

His _mind?_

_...Wait._

_...Oh._

Oh _no._

No no _no._

No no no no _NO!_

He backed away from his emotionless reflection, eyes going wide with horror as the pain in his head skyrocketed. His reflection did not move, did not change.

And Eleven bolted.

He ran as fast as he could, temporarily ignoring the escalating pain as he panicked. Why? WHY?! Why was this happening?!

He tripped.

But he didn't get back up. He just lied on the nonexistent floor, tears finally falling from his eyes with all the confusion, pain, despair, _everything._

"...Someone...help me..."

_Help me understand what's going on in my mind._

"Can I ask you something?"

His own voice rang out from elsewhere.

"Can you tell if you're you?"

...Could he tell? Could he tell if he was...himself...anymore?

...Was he...crazy?

Is that why everything is happening? Because he's crazy? Was that why people call him a Darkspawn? Because he's crazy?

Was he crazy?

"...It's not that bad, though, is it?"

Did he say that? Did "he" say that?

Wait...why did that matter?

They were the same person, just...different, somehow...?

"...Maybe I _am_ crazy."

Eleven began to pull himself up, muttering that simple phrase to himself. Maybe he _is_ crazy. But...

"But what does crazy mean? Maybe _they're_ crazy."

_...Oh._

...Ha. Hahaha.

He was right. "He" was right.

All that was happening. Everything he went through because of others. It was all because they thought he was crazy.

But he's not crazy. Oh no, he was _never_ the crazy one. Everyone just wanted a scapegoat to unleash their thoughts and wishes upon. The good and evil, all on him.

Ha. Hahaha. H̡̢̦͍̩̹͉͙̝̾̓̈̈́͒̐͛̊̃ȁ̵̛̬̱͓̹̜͂͗̾͋͟h̶̥̯̘͚̗̻͗̈́̄̐͆̒ͅa̸͎̠̥̼͔̅͌͒̏͞h̦͓̰͕̰̱͗̌͋̈́̕͢͠ͅȧ͈̯̩̼̞̞̪̔̆̐̄̚h̸̢̫̞̩̫͊̇̂̔̄͛̋̕͘͢ḁ̻̦̰̳̉̎͂͑̌͂̄͟h̬͔͔̗̲̭̤̗͐̈̍̒̍̽͋͟͠ã̸̧̲̤̩̹͆̓͌̒͟͠h̶̳̺͓̣̐̄̋̾̽ͅa̷̛̼̠̫̟͔̗̍̅̽̐̈́͐̔͆͢͟h̲̭͇̙̫͊̎̆̄̍͋͘̕͜ͅą̪͓̙̬͎͚̭̿̍̈́̏̊̊͐̅̕͜!̵̧̨̻̯̮͎̺̘̊̓̍̀͡ͅ

He's laughing. "He's" laughing.

Luminary? Darkspawn? HA! Neither are true! He was Eleven!

And you know what?

"If they all think we're crazy..."

"...Then I'll _sho**w**_** them crazy."**

Eleven finally stood on his own two feet, no light or darkness holding him down or up. He didn't need any of that.

He didn't notice, but his Mark had long stopped glowing, for the light had diminished.

The Mark of Light was now the Mark of Madness.

Denying light, denying darkness.

A sense of unnatural calm washed over him.

He'll show them. He'll show _all_ of them.

* * *

The camp had gone silent.

Not that it could be helped.

After all, _dead bodies can't speak._

It hurt even more to have been betrayed by one they called friend, family, partner.

Yet as the traitor walked away with a crooked, bloody smile...

...The screams of who once was echoed from his **_personal hell._**

**Author's Note:**

> The entire fic is kinda based off of a song called "The Mind Electric." You can probably find it on YouTube; just be aware some of the lyric videos for it are flashy aka Epilepsy Warning. I took some liberties, of course.  
Also, after everything...he has snapped. Poor Luminary...or should your title be changed?


End file.
